Письмо-жалоба от итальянского туриста директору отеля в Англии:

Dear Signоr Diretorre,

Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am commafrom Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella.When I comma in my room I see no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with noshit in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tell: "I wanna shit". Theytella me "Go to the toillett". I said "No, no. I wanna shit in my bed". Theysaid "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch". What is sonnawabitch?!

I go down to ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point to toast; "I wanna piss". She tella me "Go to the toillett". I say "No, no. I wanna piss on my plate". She then say to me "You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch". Second person who do not even know me and call me sonnawabitch! What is sonnawabitch?

Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and shell tella me "Sure everybody wanna fock". I tella her "No, No. You don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table". She then tell me "So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outta here!"

So I go to the receptione and ask for bills. I no wanna stay in your hotel no more. When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace be with you" I say "Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch" I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitchI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I!!!!!!!!!!!!